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The True Key to Lasting Love: It’s Not About Finding the Right Person

• Oct 11, 2024

Note: 
Before reading, please note that I write all of my articles purely for the purpose of knowledge provision. I never intend to hurt anyone; instead, my writing is meant to benefit all of us. 

Every relationship has a cycle. In the beginning, you fall in love with your partner. You eagerly wait for their calls, crave their touch, and find their unique quirks endearing. Falling in love is easy; it’s natural and spontaneous. You don’t have to do anything. That’s why it’s called "falling" in love. It happens to you without any effort or intention.

People often say, "I was swept off my feet." This phrase suggests you were just standing there, not doing much, and then suddenly, love happened to you. Falling in love is passive. It’s spontaneous. But as the months or years pass, the euphoria of love fades. This is a natural part of the cycle in every relationship.

Slowly but surely, the excitement of those phone calls lessens, and they can start to feel like a burden (if they happen at all). Physical touch becomes less frequent, and when it does happen, it might not feel as electrifying as before. The little things your partner did that you once found charming now annoy you. Every relationship goes through this phase, and the symptoms vary, but you’ll definitely notice a dramatic shift from the early stages of passion and excitement to a more mundane, sometimes even frustrating, state.

At this point, you or your partner might start wondering, “Am I with the right person?” You begin to reminisce about the love and excitement you once felt and might even desire to experience that same feeling with someone else. This is where many relationships face a critical crossroads. Some break down, while others grow stronger.

The key to a successful relationship isn’t about constantly finding the "right person" or chasing the highs of early love. It’s about learning to love the person you’re with, the person you already chose. This is where many people get lost, believing their dissatisfaction is because their partner is no longer “right” for them. They think the solution lies outside their current relationship, perhaps with a new partner or in distractions like work, hobbies, or even infidelity. But the truth is, the solution doesn’t lie outside your relationship; it’s found within it.

You could indeed fall in love with someone else. And for a time, that fresh relationship might make you feel alive again. But in a few years, you’d find yourself in the same situation. The cycle would repeat, because the secret to sustaining love isn’t finding a better or different partner. It’s learning to nurture and deepen the love with the person you already have.

Love that lasts requires effort. It isn’t passive or spontaneous like falling in love was. It’s an active choice you make every day. It demands time, commitment, and most importantly, wisdom. You need to learn how to keep love alive and thriving. Just as there are laws that govern the physical universe—like gravity—there are laws that govern relationships. If you understand and follow them, your relationship will grow and deepen.

This is why love isn’t just a feeling. It’s a decision. It’s something you choose, day in and day out, even when it’s hard. Even when the feelings aren’t as intense or passionate as they once were. It’s about committing to love your partner not just when it’s easy, but when it’s challenging.

So, what can you do? Here are a few essential things that help build lasting love:

Communicate openly and honestly. Many relationships break down because people stop talking, or they communicate in harmful ways. Practice listening to your partner’s needs and expressing your own.

Appreciate the small things. Over time, it’s easy to take each other for granted. But it’s important to notice and appreciate the little acts of love and kindness that happen every day.

Spend quality time together. With busy schedules, couples sometimes drift apart. Make time for each other, even if it’s just small moments throughout the day.

Practice forgiveness. No relationship is perfect. Mistakes will be made, and feelings will be hurt. But holding onto grudges or resentment only harms your connection. Learn to forgive, and move forward.

Grow together, not apart. People change over time, and that’s natural. The key is to grow together. Support each other’s dreams and ambitions, and find ways to share in each other’s journey.

Remember, love isn’t a mystery. It’s something that can be cultivated and strengthened. The more you invest in your relationship, the deeper your connection will grow.

In life, God determines who comes into our lives. But it’s up to us to decide who we allow to stay, who we let go, and who we will fight to keep. If you’re feeling uncertain about your relationship, remember that the answer doesn’t lie in searching for someone new. It lies in rediscovering and recommitting to the person you’ve already chosen.

Don’t give up too soon. Many relationships can survive and thrive after the initial "honeymoon phase" fades, but it takes work. If you feel like the love has diminished, know that it can return—stronger, deeper, and more fulfilling than before. But it won’t happen by chance. It will happen because you made the choice to love your partner and to keep choosing them every single day.

So, if you’re questioning your relationship, pause and reflect. Are you expecting love to just happen to you like it did in the beginning? Or are you ready to put in the effort to sustain the love you’ve built?

In the end, the most fulfilling relationships are those where both partners choose each other—over and over again.

Thank you for taking the time to read this. I hope it brings some clarity and encouragement to your journey. We all deserve to experience love, but it’s up to us to nurture and protect it.

Wishing you love and strength in your relationships.

Allah is supreme, and he is more knowledgeable than we are.
Thank You so much for Reading 

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